Q&A: Is it possible to date my ex's friend?

Question More than a year ago, I broke up with my boyfriend.  Currently, I am quite interested in another guy that my ex is also friends with. Here’s the dilemma: I don't want to hurt my ex. I was the one that broke up with him. I broke his heart, and even now, I feel so guilty about it.  Should I stop what is happening because they know each other, and if my ex sees us together he may be even more hurt?

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Is She Still a Virgin?

BA_largeA few weeks ago a reader emailed to ask if she could still call herself a virgin. She wrote,

I have not had actual sexual intercourse. However, I have committed sexual sin in my past (I have turned away from it now). The worst of that sexual sin being what I suppose they call "dry sex" (I assume you know what that entails).

The crux of her question: "would I be lying if I still call myself a virgin?"

Though I do answer that in today's Q&A Stop and Start—along with a look at how the enemy uses guilt to keep us sinning, and a reminder of the totality of God's forgiveness—I also toss back my own question in the process. What I want to know is,

Why just stop having dry-sex? Why not also get married and have real, God-ordained, wonderful, married sex? You've got a man you like enough to fool around with. Do you like him enough to marry him?

Read the whole conversation and send your own hard questions for future columns here.

How We Met

I love hearing stories of how couples met. Whenever Steve and I host dinner parties, the question, "how did you meet?" is a staple for getting the conversation started.The answers, as varied as fingerprints, show God's creativity in bringing men and women together for marriage. Those stories renew my hope every time. God is the ultimate creative spirit; with the resources of the universe at His disposal. If ever there were a skilled matchmaker, HE IS IT!

Web-phil-and-heather

Yesterday, as I posted an interview with Phil and Heather Joel, I was remembering their "how we met story." Phil was touring with the Newsboys and during one interview with a radio station in Kansas, he was told "there are only three mics in the studio." Since there were three Newsboys and one host, someone had to bow out. Phil did. It had everything to do with the cute receptionist out in the lobby.

Fast forward a bit and Phil is back on the road, a baggie of quarters in hand. This was pre-cell phones, people! He used the coins for payphone calls (do they even have those anymore?) to Heather. It's a great story. You can listen to the whole thing on the Boundless Show.

If you've read Get Married, you know how we met. It all started with a book. The first time Steve and I were introduced, the subject of books came up. In the course of conversation Steve mentioned he was reading Microserfs. As soon as I could—later that same day—I went and bought that book. I figured it was guaranteed conversation the next time we talked,

And we're still talking and reading books 14 years later.

We'll be asking the "how did you two meet?" question again tonight when Suzanne Hadley and her fiance Kevin come over for dessert. I'm intrigued by their story (older woman meets younger man at Starbucks) and eager to share more of it with you. Till then, you can read "A Year to Love" and be inspired by ongoing evidence of God's intimate involvement in "how we met."