Live like you’re planning to marry

Getting married is more than a lifestyle option or just something that would be nice if it happens. Not only is marriage good and natural to want, it's what most of us are called to pursue. That's the message of Get Married: What Women Can Do to Help it Happen.

But there's a difference between making it happen and helping it happen. This isn’t a book about desperation or the hyper activity of joining every dating service and singles group. It's not about asking men out or tackling a list of 100 tips and techniques.

Get Married is about living like you’re planning to marry, even as you trust in the God who created marriage and is still in the business of making good matches. It esteems marriage, encourages men, ennobles women, and embraces Christian community and a biblical understanding of what marriage is for. Most importantly, it shows women that marriage is worth hoping for because it points to something much greater than a human relationship.

You can be content where you are today and still desire marriage in a way that honors God. And there are things you can do to help it happen.

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Blurbs

“Candice Watters offers genuine help to Christians thinking about marriage, adulthood, and God's purpose for humanity.” R. Albert Mohler Jr., from the Foreword

“A hopeful and empowering message for Christian women.” Danielle Crittenden, Author, What Our Mothers Didn't Tell Us: Why Happiness Eludes the Modern Woman

“Get Married is forceful, persuasive, and a must-read for today's Christian single.” Gary Thomas, Author, Sacred Marriage

Readers’ feedback

After reading your book, I finally had a breakthrough! I realized that it was not wrong for me to desire marriage, and that marriage is the normal state for most people. Your book also gave me great hope that I can do more than just pray, and not be too forward. For once in my life, I actually was hearing encouragement rather than discouragement about my desire to get married! It was truly a breath of fresh air! —Molly

Thank you for writing Get Married.I Kissed Dating Goodbye-type messages were appropriate for me at 15 and 16, but at 23-years-old this is exactly what I (and other single women) need to hear. The applicable and practical advice of appropriately balancing God's role and our role in marrying well was fabulous. Thank you! —Emily

I just finished reading your awesome book. It was inspiring and enlightening to read, even the sections directed primarily toward women. It helped me have a better appreciation of what my Christian sisters go through. —Jeremy

I received your book as a 31st birthday present from my younger sister. I found it very encouraging, as well as practical. About a year ago, I felt prompted to make my future marriage a matter of daily prayer, and your book strengthened me in this resolve. Your writing has also encouraged me to be more open to set-ups or other unexpected avenues that God might want to use.
I liked the book so much, I lent it to my parents, who married early, and aren't sure how to encourage me in my prolonged singleness. They say little, but pray a lot. I think it's safe to say that they're suffering right along with me, and my four unmarried younger sisters. Since they read the book, I've already noticed more hope in our conversations on the subject, and I think they are praying with renewed faith. My dad really appreciated your lucid explanation of the fact that God calls most people to marriage. He said that everybody should read it, and even recommended it to our pastor. —Elisabeth

Ready to start the journey? Read the excerpt below, then order your copy.

EXCERPT

Marriage is Good

You may have a hunch it's not as easy to get married as it once was. If so, you're right. Since 1970, the marriage rate has declined 50 percent. In that time, the proportion of American women ages 25–29 who have not married has quadrupled. Currently the average age of first marriages is 26 for women, 27 for men—as old as it's ever been. Conventional wisdom says later marriage means the bride and groom will be more prepared for the responsibilities of marriage, but many women are ready now. And they're frustrated by the delay. Sociologists blame the delay on the additional educational and career development necessary to marry well. Add to that the confusion over gender roles, cultural worship of youth, the lack of biblical literacy, uninvolved parents and extended family, the fallout from divorce, disengaged social circles, and an often silent church and you have the makings for much uncertainty. Women are left wondering, what's the best path to marriage?

... If in the midst of these cultural realities, “just pray and wait” sentiments leave you depressed, I think you'll be encouraged by the message of this book: there's something you can do.

Whether you're wondering if you'll ever get a date, stuck in a “just-friends” relationship or worried that the guy you've been seeing forever will never move toward marriage, this book offers help. It's for all the women who long for marriage but are afraid to admit it; embarrassed by their deepest desires or concerned that maybe they want it too much. It's for the parents of single women who wonder if there's anything they can do. And it's for married friends of singles who want to help but don't want to intrude.

This is not another book about seeking fulfillment in your singleness. As beings created in God's image; we were designed for relationship—that's why extended singleness leaves so many women discontent. It's also why we should be intentional about finding fulfillment in marriage. Getting married isn't just something that's “nice if it happens.” It's what most of us are called to pursue.

Pursue, but not dominate. I'm not advocating getting married at all costs. But marrying well, for God's glory, is a worthy pursuit. There's a difference between making it happen and helping it happen. I'm not going to parrot the “girl-power,” feminist worldview. Men have a key role to play. And how the single women they know relate to them has everything to do with their momentum toward marriage. This isn't a book about desperation or the hyper activity of joining every dating service and singles group. You won't find a list of 100 tips for meeting a hot man or five things you can do today to help you get married tomorrow.

What you will find is a way to live like you're planning to marry. Not just having a hope chest—but cultivating a lifestyle that is consistent with the season of marriage ahead. A life that's in harmony with God's work on your behalf. A life that nurtures men and the community around you to play their role so that you don't have to carry it all. Finally, you'll find in the context of this marriage-minded lifestyle a new confidence to pray like you never have—trusting that marriage is a goal within your grasp. You can risk hoping that you will get married. You really can help it happen.

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