Something Only God Could Orchestrate

I know a lot of single women who'd like to be married. I hear from them by email and at Boundless and my heart breaks for them—and if that describes you, for you. I wish it were easier to get married in this culture. But just because it isn't easy, doesn't mean it's impossible. I'm often wowed by the stories of God working in unlikely circumstances to bring redemption. The following is just one example of a marriage long desired and prayed for. I asked the author, Carmen, if I could share it with you. And so, with Carmen's blessing, here's her story. I hope it encourages you as much as it did me.

Hi Candace,

It was about a year and a half ago that I got my hands on your book Get Married. I'd just gotten out of a short-lived relationship and was bemoaning the fact that I was (again) single, asking myself, "Where are all the godly men?"

Your book, though, re-inspired me, teaching me to increase my expectation in God and the desire for a godly marriage that He'd placed on my heart. I began praying in a whole new way, sparking a fervor and love for prayer that I still hold deeply to. It was invigorating for me and I did as your book suggested—getting a group of other godly women together to read your book and pray for one another about getting married. (You had found my blog at one point where I talked about how much I enjoyed Get Married.)

In less than six months of praying this way and seeking God with this kind of anticipation, I met the most godly single man. Up to this point, so many of the Christian men I'd interacted with were hardly spiritual leaders, much less challenging my faith (in a positive, iron-sharpening-iron kind of way). So when I met this man, I was excited—only to find out that he was 5 years younger than me (I was 25, he was 20 and still in college). But having read your article on Boundless that encouraged women to compromise on the superficial and keep high standards when it comes to character/faith, I decided to step out in faith when he (out of the blue) asked me out on a date.

The beautiful thing about this is that this was the first time when I wasn't the one doing "the chasing" or flirting with him. I did my best to guard my heart—even trying to not sit by him when we'd chaperon youth group events because up to then I thought he had absolutely no interest and I didn't want to put my heart through any more "false hopes."

As it turns out, God was totally in control of this situation (surprise, surprise), and put it on his heart to ask me out. Nine months later, he proposed, and a week ago we got married. He is the most godly man I've ever met, and he is now my best friend and my husband. It's something that only God could orchestrate and I'm blown away even now as I remember how incredible of a journey it has been. Yes, we have our moments and marriage (even at this point) has been a very humbling experience—but that's been one of the great parts about it, that it's grown me so much and I know it will continue to. As much as I did want to get married, I knew it was more about who I married rather than just that I got married. And that's the part that I love the most—God brought that man (and so much more) to me!

I wanted to share this testimony to you as a way to say "thank you" for the message you've shared with my generation and also just as a way of praising God for the beautiful things He does each and every day, with this being among them. Thanks so much for stepping out in faith with this book; it really has challenged my faith and grown me for the better.

Best, Carmen

If you have a similar story of answered prayer, won't you share it? Please leave a comment or drop me an email.

Even the Shortest Lives

Since writing Start Your Family and trying to find new ways to get the word out about it, we've spent a lot of time reading Mom blogs and getting to know the awesome women behind them. In the process, we've discovered a whole universe of couples longing to be pregnant, grieving babies lost through miscarriage, agonizing over terminal diagnoses for babies in utero, and questioning why—in a culture where life is so cheap—they, who believe life is sacred, would lose their children so early. When reading their stories, It's impossible to miss the value of these lives cut short. For example, today I saw this—"71 Days"—on Greg Sponberg's blog. It's a tribute to his, and wife Nicol's, son Luke. (The song will be on Nicol's new solo project.)

Solomon said "He has set eternity in the hearts of men." That's never more true than when you lose a baby. Parents grieving the death of an infant long doubly for heaven. It is there we will finally hold the little ones who fled our arms too soon.

HT: @angelac519

A Conversation with Todd and Angie Smith

Last Friday I had the pleasure of interviewing Todd and Angie Smith (of Selah and Bring the Rain fame). They were at Focus on the Family for the monthly chapel service and agreed to give 30 minutes to the Boundless Show.

When we went into the studio, I was praying I'd be able to make it through the conversation without crying. Theirs is a story of great loss, as well as miraculous intervention--it's near impossible to read and hear about it without tearing up. We had a candid conversation about their fourth daughter Audrey Caroline, who died just two-and-a-half hours after she was born.

Thankfully, in addition to being a fantastic storyteller, Angie's hilarious. So we laughed a lot, too. And Todd sang for us live. It's an engaging, entertaining and encouraging show, especially for anyone dealing with the disappointments and setbacks of trying to start or grow their family.

Angie's blog is wildly popular, striking a chord with women all over the world. Through the telling of their story, they've been able to minister to countless thousands. After hearing them, I think you'll understand why. You can listen here.

Pregnant in First Year of Marriage

From Sharon J. (Lancaster, PA)

My husband and I were not planning on getting pregnant this early. Selfishly we really wanted a year to adjust to each other, process life together, transition into a new life together in a new city without the "added strain" of a pregnancy and a new baby. Even now being pregnant the hard part isn't, "Oh no we aren't out of debt yet," or "Shoot I was wanting to go back to school." Instead it has been hard just thinking about giving up some freedoms. We were planning a trip to Colorado in the fall and now because I will be 7 months pregnant that probably won't be happening and that is hard to think about.

I think for both of us we feel the foot loose and fancy "freeness" of our life is slowly being pulled away. But, truly I think I would have struggled with this at any point of getting pregnant simply because I have been a single, on my own, go where I want when I want person for 10 years, up until I got married 4 months ago.

I wonder at times if I really have what it takes to be a mom. How in the world do you raise a child and not just raise them but build strong character into them and hopefully lead them to the Lord. It is such a huge responsibility to be in charge with another persons life and have them completely dependent on you. I am realizing more than ever the importance of my decisions now.

I know my husband struggles with the question of if he'll be able to provide for us. And he also has nervousness because he has never been around babies and really doesn't know how to hold them, change them, or care for them. Also hearing too from friends how tiring it is is really overwhelming to him because he is already completely exhausted every day from him job so the idea of getting even less sleep is depressing to him.

It also concerns me to think about what kind of world I am bringing my child into. As I think about our earth, pollution, crime, our country's moral character I can definitely be discouraged. But I just have to remember that we worship a sovereign, loving and just God and I just need to trust in Him for today. But with that I am also realizing I can have an impact on our future, disciplining women, and mentoring younger gals to help them contribute to a better society; to be God-fearing teachers, accountants, lawyers, etc. I can make a difference.

Fears and Anxieties

From Celesta B. (Canton, GA)

I remember loads of specific fears and anxieties, namely how would we affordcto relinquish a steady salary so that I could stay home and raise our baby. This wasn't some passing worry; this was the reason we prolonged the "act" so long after we finally made the decision that we did indeed want to have a child.

We agonized over how we could afford to be responsible for a tiny human. I remember this anxiousness hovered over all my waking moments and clouded my faith that God would provide for us and financially honor our commitment to stay home. To be honest, I can't say that I ever really had true faith that God would provide. I hoped He would. I prayed He would. But, I stayed unsettled and worried right through my maternity leave with my employer.

And then, moment by moment, "coincidence" by "coincidence", He was there helping us make ends meet, stretching my husband's salary farther than we thought it could go, bringing big name clients to my newly-established writing business. Now, three years in, those fears seem so far away. Yes, we still have big dreams for a financially secure future, but we've lived more abundantly in these three years than we ever did before our babies arrived. I smile to really finally internalize this promise (and reprimand):

"See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his glory was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, `What will we eat?' or `What will we drink?' or `What will we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them."